By Grandpa
No apologies. No sugarcoating. Just the truth.
Valentine’s Day. That sweet, mushy, heart-shaped holiday everybody either loves or pretends to love so they don’t end up sleeping on the couch. But before it turned into a pink explosion of cards, candy, and overpriced roses, it had a much stranger beginning.
Way back in ancient Rome, there was a little festival called Lupercalia. Sounds romantic, right? Not so fast. This mid-February celebration was all about fertility and purification, and it involved animal sacrifices and a matchmaking lottery. Yep, nothing says “true love” like goats, blood, and drawing names out of a hat.
Fast-forward to the 5th century, when Pope Gelasius I took one look at that pagan party and said, “Nope.” Lupercalia was outlawed, and February 14th was declared a feast day to honor St. Valentine, a Christian martyr. Much cleaner. Fewer goats. Progress.
Then along came poets in the 14th and 15th centuries, folks like Geoffrey Chaucer and William Shakespeare, who decided this day should be about romance. Love letters, poetry, courtly affection. Suddenly Valentine’s Day went from ritual to romance, and the rest is history.
Now here’s where Grandpa starts squinting suspiciously.
Leave it to the greeting card companies to see a perfectly good day of love and say, “How can we cash in on this?” In the United States, the first mass-produced Valentine’s cards popped up in the 1840s, thanks to Esther Howland. And once the card companies smelled money, it was all over.
Of course, the flower and candy companies weren’t about to sit on the sidelines. Nope. They muscled their way in during the 18th and 19th centuries, convincing everyone that love couldn’t possibly be expressed without roses and chocolate, preferably expensive ones.
Now today? Valentine’s Day is the second-largest card-sending holiday of the year, right behind Christmas. Cards, candy, flowers, dinners, jewelry and let’s be honest, a whole lot of pressure.
And behind all this card-buying, candy-wrapping, flower-delivering madness? Well, there must be a woman behind it somewhere. 😏
So, whether you’re celebrating true love, avoiding eye contact with the greeting card aisle, or just trying to survive another February 14th without emptying your wallet.
Happy Valentine’s Day.
That’s enough outta me for now. But don’t worry, I’ve got plenty more to say next time.
Grandpa (Professional Ranter and Amateur Philosopher)
